Oh how I hate anxiety. You never know when its going to happen or why it is. Its the worse thing to experience. You feel as though you can’t breathe. Everything is spinning. Your heart is racing.
I experience anxiety so easily and sometimes I don’t even know what I’m feeling stressed or scared about. So today I had to go to work experience at a childcare centre because that’s what I’m currently studying through school and TAFE right and I just convinced myself I couldn’t do it. I have no idea why. This happens every Thursday and I hate it. My mum also hates when I’m like that.
I’m anxious about going, then it makes my mum frustrated which then makes her and I argue which then makes me more anxious. Just a viscous circle and I don’t know how to deal with it. I always go for the easy way out but then when i do that i hate myself. I think so negative like
” I won’t be able to finish this course”
“I”m a failure”
“Everyone is going to be so disappointed in me”
“I’m not good enough”
Things like that. When that does happen you just have to try and change it around because you are good enough, you are a failure and you can do anything. At first it will be hard but soon you will believe it because you need to know things won’t be able to change over night. It does take time but things will get easier and better.
All this breathing techniques and “mindfulness” or whatever doesn’t even help. Like how is someone suppose to cope with something if they don’t know how to?
Another thing people try and tell me do to is “stay positive” well if it was that easy don’t ya think I would be over this be now. Like the amount of times I’m negative is too many to even count. Clearly the people who give this advice have never experienced it themselves.
There’s so much things that iI get anxious about. I can’t talk to new people. I’m just a really shy person at first and if I do talk I slur my words or stutter. Which i really hate. I can’t talk in front of a huge crowd. Just generally a lot of things.
I never really like commented on sh*t because I was scared of what people would think of me because that is a big thing for me but because of these two special people. That has changed. I might write a whole blog on how those people have impacted my life without actually knowing them.
I’m really trying my hardest not to care what people think about me and just be my self so i guess that’s another reason for this blog. To express myself and not give a damn if people want to judge me.
So if you do experience anxiety like this the best advice I have for you is yeah try the taking the deep breaths and the mindfulness stuff but if that don’t work actually talk to someone who has experienced it. There’s no point talking to a counsellor that knows all about it but doesn’t know what it actually feels like.
Another technique you can use that most people don’t say is distract yourself. Do something you love. Like for me when I feel anxious or down I either watch my favourite you-tuber or TV show. Just a little info about me my favourite you-tuber is the dolan twins and TV show is vampire diaries. So if you like the same stuff as me. Please be my friend. Literally need new friends. The only friends i have are two faced.
Well anyway distracting yourself is the key. It could be anything at all. Also music is a good thing. Usually when I’m down or anxious I listen to sad music. Weird I know but it helps. You just have to find what helps you.
Everyone is different.
Also remember to surround yourself with people who care, love and support you. Without that you will just feel alone and that also is a horrible feeling. If you do feel like that you aren’t alone. You might not see it right now but people do love you
You can beat anxiety.